After my pregnancy with the miss PB, and all her trying to kill me business(which if you dont know, severe hyperemsis, and placenta previa, ect.), i was really hoping that MAYBE my body would let me have this one...

I have never been one of the healthy folk out there... Ive also never had a common cold. I get things like bronchitus, sinusitus, upper resp. infections. When younger, I had strep a few times, tonsilitus more times than i could count (i still have my tonsils by the way), i had a stomach virus, atleast twice a year, all of the above mentioned, ear infections... you name it, ive had it... BUT the common cold, it got to the point where i could diagnos myself, my family thought this was funny, i thought it was sad lol. I also have asthma, im allergic to everything BUT food, I even have cold uticara, which is classified as a skin disorder, but really its an allergy to the cold (note to self: never move to alaska). While pregnant with PB i was fairly healthy on the sick front, had one sinus infection that lasted forever, but that was it, since having her, I havent been sick once...

When i found out i was pregnant again, i felt my world come crashing down on me, i didnt want it, i was miserable i cried almost always, i was pissed off at myself for allowing it happen, i felt guilt for everyone, mostly for my daughter. I wanted it to go away... and i felt like the worst person in the world for wishing that, i beat myself up over it. i am starting to come around.. but... the hyperemsis is back, im on zofran it helps with the nausea and vomitting, although not all the time, but enough. the past 7 days i was on bed rest... (hi... i have a 6 month old, and my husband has to work) so i stayed with my parents a few days, and they helped a lot, my friend Harlee helped me out when she could, and i didnt the best i could... im on bed rest, because my uteran scar was over stretching... i was in an insane ammount of pain for about a week before i started to complain about it, and i still didnt make an appointment to go to see my OB for atleast another 3-4 days... its how i roll. finally i go in, they check me out, do an ultra sound, draw some blood.... ultra sound shows my scar.... the scar that is a little to stretched for my dr's liking, its going to stretch naturally, duh... but apparently i was doing to much, and helping it along... hello... if i didnt stop... i could totally off myself, and the baby.. or just the baby... and it dawned on me... i can NOT let anything happen to this baby.. if my body rejected it on its own, i would have been a little sad, ill admit that... but if something happend because of something i could control... i couldnt handle that... im getting used to the idea of having 2... 2 very close in age...

im also vitamin d deficent.. no bigs right? OH WRONG! LOL i googled... yeah i know.. DONT GOOGLE! but the nurse who called me, made it VERY clear that i HAD to take a supplement.... "DONT NOT TAKE IT, ITS IMPORTANT" she stressed more than once, but wouldnt exactly explain why, which is silly since my mother is on the interwebs, so is the rest of the world... i know how to navigate google.. bad things people.. BAD THINGS!

so i feel like a total loser, i cant take care of my baby on my own, im not supposed to stand longer than 5 minutes at time (do you know how much of a mess my casa is???) and im not supposed to lift anything heavier than 5 lbs, that eliminates everything living thing in my house... even my tiny cat, who is about 7lbs... but what i can lift... a cookie....and a burger... i guess not all is lost.

So the last week or so, ive been feeling rather funny, very tired, more so than usual, uber moody, more so than usual, constantly hungry, and having to pee almost every hour... did your brain go where mine went? ok good. well i am not, i seriously should have thrown a party. I made my best friend Harlee, go get me a test, and coffee creamer, because dont you always buy your pregnancy tests with coffee creamer? anywho, so she goes buys it, i take it, and come down stairs, happily. But this constant hunger, and peeing thing? what the hell...when i say hungry, i dont mean just kind of hungry, i mean STARVING! homeless people are less hungry than i have felt the last week or so, so ive been eating us out of house and home, and wasteing gallons of water with how often i am peeing.

Today we got lunch from muscle makers, which i love, and have been eating from since about 2004, love it, its good for you, you have options, and did i say i love it? I INHAILED it, like i havent eaten in 3 days, and low and behold, hungry an hour later. I had a chicken breast sandwhich, on whole weat bun, with reduced fat mozzerella, roasted red peppers, and balsamic vinegar, and brown rice. umm.. YUM! but was still very hungry an hour later.

I am starting to wonder, like really wonder if its the diabetic/pcos part of me, screwing with me, telling me it wont allow me to get skinny. There is only so many rice cakes, and fruit and veggies a girl can snack on before she runs for the chips-ahoy..something is going to have to give. i wont allow my body to dictate how much i eat. being hungry is one thing, but being starved is another...maybe its a tape worm.. a tape worm i can totally hang with, (totally gross.. but totally skinny....) some meds and we will be good to go. But i remember when my cat had worms, and that was totally gross, and she ate everything she could get her tiny paws on, and she got bloated...it wasnt until she was throwing them up before we noticed she was sick, we just thought she was a pig... which she totally is.